Hey y'all! Happy hump day - we're halfway through the week, and we're coming up on a long weekend. Exciting times, huh? So, I haven't blogged in over five months and I kind of just went MIA. I think after this much-needed break, I'm finally ready to come back to blogging but first, I want to talk about why I went on this hiatus to begin with. Bear with me because this is a pretty long, and a very candid post - about not only the reality of a blogger burnout, but everything that's been happening in my personal life. I didn't think I was ready to write about all of this, but I think I am. So, even I'm surprised at how candid this is.
A few months ago, I hit a major wall, in terms of blogging. I'd completely lost my motivation - it started to feel like work. Don't get me wrong - it IS work. Very hard work. In the past though, it didn't "feel" like work. So, when I got to the point where I just stopped enjoying it, and was lacking inspiration, I had to make a decision. Do I continue to blog, even if it's going to be inauthentic and half-assed or do I just give myself the break I need? Additionally, I was feeling like I wanted to do more with my blog - take it in a different direction. I wasn't sure exactly what, but I knew something needed to change, and I needed time to really figure out what I wanted to change. Also, I was starting to realize how much I was getting caught up in the blog/social media universe - constantly stressing about how many likes my Instagram post got, how many people were visiting my blog, etc. I took a step back, and knew that I, personally, had to stop this craziness. I said "personally" because I know this is the reality for a lot of bloggers, and I'm not here to judge that. All I'm saying is that for ME, that had to change. After much deliberation, I decided taking a break was the right thing. When I started blogging, I'd told myself I'd always be authentic. So, being anything but that was not an option for me. I went off the grid entirely for a month - no blogging, no social media. I've slowly gotten back to social media, but I wasn't ready to re-commit to blogging just yet. So, there's the blogger burnout part, but there was so much other stuff going on, too.
As y'all may (or may not) know, I moved to San Antonio, TX about a year ago. I actually grew up in India, and moved to the US in 2000. Since then, I'd lived mostly in New Jersey, with brief stints in Boston and San Francisco. I'd never thought of myself as someone who would have a hard time meeting people in a new place and building a social circle. Until .... I moved to San Antonio, that is. Don't get me wrong - San Antonio is a great city, but it's very different from any place I've ever lived in. I'd been wanting to move out of the northeast for some time, and Texas was one of the places I'd seriously been thinking about (hello, no state income tax!). Plus, I've always been a huge Spurs fan. So, this opportunity was a no-brainer. I'd moved to Boston and San Francisco not knowing a single person, and ended up making tons of friends .... in only three months! So, when this opportunity to move to Texas came my way, the fact that I didn't know anybody here was not even on my list of concerns. Once I moved, here, though, it was just way different from what I'd anticipated. I realized I can't just walk into a bar by myself and meet people. I didn't know where/how to meet people. Ultimately, though, I realized that this had a lot to do with the part of town I live in - it's far out from downtown, and mostly people with families, etc. So, in July, I'm moving to downtown San Antonio, and am SUPER excited about that! Also, I'm coming up on a year and I've finally established a group of people I can spend time with and count on - a true blessing. These past few months have brought on a lot of changes in me. For instance, I'm finally becoming comfortable with going to the movies by myself. Or even going to dinner by myself. I realized I could either sit at home and sulk, or go out and do the things I want to do .... by myself. It's not the easiest thing to do, but you start to get used to it. Also, I've started exploring my new city, and all that it has to offer (there's a separate post on that coming soon!). This move was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through - for months I suffered severe hair fall, amongst a multitude of other things. It turns out divorce, death, and moving are the top three stressful events in your life! Moving? Who'da thunk? As difficult as this move has been on me, it's also helped me grow a lot. It's like IBM CEO, Ginny Rometty said - "Growth and comfort don't co-exist. That's true for people, companies, nations." - I couldn't agree more with that. Things are finally looking up, and San Antonio is really growing on me. Now, I'm actually excited to explore more of this city, and find all the things I love about it.
In the past several months, some personal relationships also fell apart. I invest a lot in the people in my close circle, so when a personal relationship fails- whether it be a significant other, or a friend, it's extremely difficult. I'm blessed to still be surrounded by some incredible people - friends and family. Eventually, I had to understand that it's not always my fault when relationships fail. People change. Situations change. Priorities change. And with all of that, relationships change. You can fight all you want, but at some point, you have to accept that things are changing. Ultimately, I strongly believe that if someone is meant to be in your life, they will be.
There's a Nikos Kazantzakis quote, that's one of my favorites - “When everything goes wrong, what a joy to test your soul and see if it has endurance and courage!” I know that sounds a bit over dramatic, but the takeaway, for me anyways, is that you're stronger than you know. Not to discount the incredible strength I have been provided with, in the form of family and friends, but anytime you go through a rough patch, it makes you stronger and teaches you a lot about yourself. All of this stuff, together, was a bit of a handful, and I had to make the decision to put myself first. I had to commit, first and foremost, to my well being. And so, the blogging/social media hiatus.
In the last month or so, however, I've found the motivation to get back to it, and I've had some ideas for changing the direction of my blog. I also feel like traveling is my happy place, so I've been traveling quite a bit, and hope to do much more of it. I do hope y'all will bear with me while I find my bearing again. In the meantime, be sure to follow along on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat (dhruvibaby). It only took an era, but I'm finally on Snapchat!
I know this was a long post, so I thank y'all for reading! I'll be back soon. Also, if y'all have things you want me to talk about, please let me know! Wishing you an amazing rest of the week, and a fabulous long weekend!
You can follow Stilettos & Sequins along on -